Just So You Know
by SecondStarToTheRight18
Summary: - ONESHOT - Bradin tries to let go of Erika... Summary sucks, songfic. R&R please, thanks so much!


Hello all! Here's a little one-shot I thought up! Hope y'all enjoy!

Oh and one thing, this is my first EVER time trying to write from a 1st person view as a guy... hope I didn't make it suck too much! (But do let me know what you thought and how well I did trying to "be a guy" if you will... lol!)

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**Just So You Know**

There she was... in his arms, how could this still be bugging me... I looked again at the pair... She was still just as beautiful as ever. Long dark hair flowing over her shoulders, beautifully dark eyes, killer figure... and of course, that personality that I loved so much about her. She was wearing a long white skirt, a brown blouse with sleeves that went to right before her wrists and hung open.

_I shouldn't love you but I want to,  
I just can't turn away...  
I shouldn't see you but I can't move,  
I can't look away..._

I sat down in the sand and watched as one of my aunt's housemate, Jay, pulled her in and kissed her. I wished so bad that that were me. I'd had my chance with her though, but... it didn't work out... No one approved of us being together and the fact that Jay liked her just made things even more complicated... I watched as she took off her skirt and blouse revealing a blue bikini top and bottom. She ran out into the water laughing as Jay took off his shirt and followed her. I sighed deeply and fell onto my back, why couldn't I seem to let her go? I looked up at the sky and in the clouds I saw Erica's smiling face...

_I shouldn't love you but I want to,  
I just can't turn away...  
I shouldn't see you but I can't move,  
I can't look away..._

I sat back up and watched as they frolicked in the water, laughing the whole time. I felt like my whole world was caving in again... Why couldn't I move on? Why was I still not okay with her being with Jay?

_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not,  
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop._

Just so you know,  
This feeling's taking control of me,  
And I can't help it,  
I won't sit around; I can't let him win now...  
Thought you should know,  
I've tried my best to let go of you,  
But I don't want to;  
I just gotta say it all,  
Before I go,  
Just so you know...

I got up and walked further onto the beach... "Bradin!" I heard Jay calling my name. I looked and saw he and Erica coming up to me, "Hey Mate! Where you off to?"

"Nowhere- uh... I mean... well," I looked at Erica and she looked away...

_It's getting hard to be around you..._

"Hold on. Hey you!" Jay ran off to stop some kid from taking their radio.

Things went dead silent. "Hey Erica..." I said cutting through the silence like a knife.

"Hey... how you doing?" she asked with a smile.

God, I swear I almost died right then, every time she smiles I feel that way though...

"I'm okay... How are you?" I wanted to say so much more, I wanted to tell her how bad I wanted her, but... I couldn't.

_There's so much I can't say,  
Do you want me to hide the feelings,  
And look the other way?_

"Oh, I'm doing good..." She said and again hit me with one of her killer smiles.

I could barely stand to be there with her, I felt like I was going to fall to pieces any second...

_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not,  
Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop._

Just so you know,  
This feeling's taking control of me,  
And I can't help it,  
I won't sit around; I can't let him win now...

"Erica, are- Are you really um..." I wanted to ask her if she really thought she was in love with Jay, but as he started to walk back towards us I kept my mouth shut.

_Thought you should know,  
I've tried my best to let go of you,  
But I don't want to;  
I just gotta say it all,  
Before I go,  
Just so you know..._

"Dumb ass kid, he said he 'thought it was his sister's,'" Jay said making air quotes with his hands. "So where was I? Oh yeah, what are you doing, Brae?"

"Nothing... just um... walking... What're you guys doing?" I bit my lip wishing so bad I could wrap my arms around Erica and kiss her and never let go.

"Oh just... playing around..." Jay said and kissed Erica on the neck making her blush.

Somehow I couldn't stand the way he'd said, "playing around." It was like he was trying to rub in my face the fact that he was going to get to lay with her and I wasn't.

"I see, well... I'll um... I'll let you go..." I said and turned to walk off but what Jay said next made me want to turn around and kill him.

"Don't you have a date-"

"What would make you think that!?" I shouted cutting him off. _"Damn, wish I hadn't just done that!"_ My mind said.

"I just um-"

"Well don't!" Again I cut him off and again my mind said, "_Damn it! Stop doing that!"_

"Okay, Brae... I'll uh... _we'll_ see you tonight." Jay said and turned around.

"What do you mean, '_we'll_,'" I asked a little confused.

"Oh, she's coming over for dinner."

"Oh." With that I turned and walked off. I tried not to look like I was running away from them, but if anybody had any sense they could tell I was. I felt so lost... I was angry with Jay! How could he be so cold as to rub it in like that by asking if I had a date? I fell in the sand and tried to fight the tears that were starting to come... "_Oh come on... you're a guy! Guys do not cry! And if they do it's not about something like this!"_ My freaking mind had to start talking to me just as I started to feel sorry for myself didn't it?

_This emptiness is killing me,  
__And I'm wondering why I've waited so long,_

I looked behind me and could see Erica and Jay sitting in the sand kissing... I felt sick.

_Looking back I realize it was always there just never spoken,  
__I'm waiting here,  
__Been waiting here..._

I got up and ran... Why couldn't I forget about her!?

_Just so you know,  
This feeling's taking control of me,  
And I can't help it,  
I won't sit around; I can't let him win now...  
Thought you should know,  
I've tried my best to let go of you,  
But I don't want to;  
I just gotta say it all,  
Before I go,  
Just so you know..._

I stopped at my front door; I heard voices inside, my aunt and Johnny. I was glad they were getting back together. I decided then that I had to let go of Erica and move on... but still...

_Oh, whoa...  
__Just so you know,  
__Oh, whoa..._

It will be hard, but I think I'll make it... But still I can't seem to let her go...

_Thought you should know,  
I've tried my best to let go of you,  
But I don't want to,_

I went inside. Later on Erica and Jay got there, and though I still wanted her I was able to talk to both her and Jay without feeling like I would cry... I guess I'm finally moving on, but as Erica left I met her outside and kissed her. She reeled back.

_I just gotta say it all,  
Before I go..._

"Bradin! Don't!" She screeched.

"Shh... Shh, please, I just wanted you to know I still love you and I'll always be here, okay?" I looked into her eyes; she stared right back... It was like she was seeing straight into the depths of my soul... As weird as it was, I liked it.

_Just so you know..._

"Okay." She said after what must have been a full five minutes.

With that, and a nod of her head, she walked off.

I felt my heart breaking as I stared after her... I sighed and turned to go back inside for the night... Maybe one day... I thought to myself.

_Just so you know..._

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Well, what'd y'all think? Did it suck too terribly? Would love to know what you think! Please review it now that you've read it! ('Member, it'll only take you a minute and I'll appreciate WAY more than you'll know!

_Anna Christie_ AKA _SecondStarToTheRight15_


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